we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
