every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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