we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
