That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
