If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
