And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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