I must be too annoying 4 u.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize