There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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