she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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