I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
