Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
