shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
...so i touched it.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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