whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
