last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
