I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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