so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
