Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
