Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
