I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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