dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
