Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it

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(206): View more from Washington

Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.

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(360): View more from Washington

Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."

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(773): View more from Illinois

In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...

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