dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You ruined the universe
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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