I wanna bring you to show and tell
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
