I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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