when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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