I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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