this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
