I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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