I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
