hotel room ftw
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
