I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
