yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
