Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
