We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
