its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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