I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
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