My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
