Your mouth is God's brothel.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
