Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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