Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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