My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
