alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
