Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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