he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
