so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
