it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
