and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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