Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
