A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
