If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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