i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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