There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
