i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
