i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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