It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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