I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
sarcasm needs its own font
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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