Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
