Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
How naked do you want me to be?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
