I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
