physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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